ANOINTED PILLOWS THAT CURE INSOMNIA

By Akin Ojumu

It’s often the case that those who have the courage to call out the shenanigans that now permeate the entire Christendom are tagged with the rebel label. The moment you dare raise your voice to call attention to the various tomfooleries embraced by church folks as standard Christian practices, you are condemned as a hyper-critic who is either an unbeliever bound for hell or a backslidden Christian who has lost his way due to unbelief.

Well, here again is another evidence that illustrates the ridiculousness that has taken hold in the Body of Christ. This video clip demonstrates the ease with which Gospel hucksters make merchandise of Believers despite ample warnings in the Bible calling us to watch out and be on our guard for extortionists and profiteers who rise up from within our ranks.

Acts 20:29-31

“I know that after my departure, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from your own number, men will rise up and distort the truth to draw away disciples after them. Therefore be alert and remember that for three years I never stopped warning each of you night and day with tears.”

Prophetess Mattie Nottage is a Gospel commoditizer based in Nassau, Bahamas. Together with her husband, apostle Edison Nottage, she runs the Believers Faith Outreach Ministries International. Both husband and wife are examples of the spots and blemishes on the Body of Christ. 

2 Peter 2:13

“They are blots and blemishes, reveling in their deceptions, while they feast with you.” 

Here in this video clip, the prophetess can be seen peddling anointed pillows imbued with prophetic sedative powers to cure all your insomnia problems. So powerful are the pillows, the second you lay your head on it, you start snoring right away. Employing the theatrics of a used-car salesman, the prophetess pushes her magic pillows on her unwary customers.

2 Peter 2:3

“In their greed, these false teachers will exploit you with deceptive words. The longstanding verdict against them remains in force, and their destruction does not sleep.”

Perhaps realizing how ridiculous her claims sound, the prophetess tries to anesthetize her naïve targets into a somnolent state of suspension of disbelief by telling them that it’s alright if, by purchasing the sedative pillows, they look foolish in the eyes of other people. The pillows, she confidently proclaimed, are supernaturally anointed by God. 

“God says if you are willing and obedient to obey the instruction, I will shift some things in your life. Am I talking to somebody? If you are willing to look like a fool…watch and see what I will do for you. It is anointed by God. Something supernatural.”

Sensing she has her victims hooked, she goes for the kill. Using the typical thought-stopping technique of all charlatans, she asks her prey to promise that they are willing to give the pillows a try.

“Look at two people and say, I’m willing to try it out.”

The crowd responded, yelling out.

“I’m willing to try it out!!!”

The prophetess then goes further to remind them that since everything else they tried in the past to sleep failed, what have they got to lose by trying her anointed pillow.

“Say, I’ve been trying everything! I’ve been trying NyQuil, DayQuil, Panadol, Aspirin…Amen…Advil. You’ve been trying everything. You know what y’all drugs of choice is. Amen…Motrin, Ibuprofen. C’mon somebody! Everything tried to get you to go to sleep and everything failed. You’re only supposed to drink one tablespoon of the NyQuil, you’re drinking 4 cups of them. And then you don't drink vodka, but you get drunk on NyQuil.”

First off, I don’t know if the people of Bahamas have an epidemic of insomnia, because it seems that this particular church must have a lot of people with sleeping problems to make the prophetess seek God’s face for anointed pillows that would cure the insomnia. Second of all, remind me again, when did NyQuil, DayQuil, Panadol, Aspirin, and Motrin become sleeping medications?

Now, before you dismiss this pillow-hawking prophetess as a mere charlatan, you probably want to look in the mirror. The prophetess peddling magic pillows and your General Overseer who promotes magic combs, magic chairs, and magic wands are birds of the same feather. They both receive the inspiration for their wacky ideas from the same source…the pit of hell.

2 Timothy 3:13

“But wicked people and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving others and being deceived.”

It never ceases to amaze me how those who follow these wolves in sheep’s clothing remain blinded to the scam being perpetrated at their expense. I struggle to understand why impoverished church folks continue to deify the very same people who build empires for themselves and their children off of the farthings they drop into the offering bowl every Sunday. Stockholm Syndrome does not even begin to describe this phenomenon.

Matthew 24:4-5

“See to it that no one deceives you. For many will come in My name, claiming, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will deceive many.”