SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH NIGERIANS

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By Akin Ojumu

Godswill Akpabio, the current Senate President, marked his 61st birthday with pomp and pageantry this past Saturday at the Godswill Akpabio International Stadium in Uyo. The opulent event was attended by hundreds of current and former members of the National Assembly of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, politicians of all shades and stripes, as well as a swarming crowd of the poor masses of Akwa Ibom.

The 30,000-capacity stadium, which is named after the birthday boy, was packed to the nosebleed section with banner waving and aso-ebi attired admirers. A rancorous multitude cheered on blissfully upon Akpabio’s arrival at the venue in his convoy of exotic vehicles, surrounded by horse whip toting security personnel who trotted along as the man himself danced to the traditional music blasting from high-powered loudspeakers. As dignitaries pour encomiums on the celebrant, the gathered praise singers went into ecstatic frenzy.

Other than being a vampiric moocher and a parasitic freeloader perennially sucking on the wealth and resources of Nigeria, can someone, please, remind me again about the life accomplishments of Godswill Akpabio that warranted this type of over-the-top royal treatment? Is there anyone who can point to one good thing that Godswill Akpabio has done in his decades of lecherous political career to make life better for the suffering masses of Akwa Ibom or Nigeria?

Isn’t this the same man who was under investigation by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) on accusations that he diverted over 100 billion Naira from Akwa Ibom State during his time as governor (2007-2015)? Is this not the same Godswill Akpabio whose level of fraud and corruption while he was governor was so egregious and blatant that foreign diplomats described it as “exceptional” and “unprecedented”?

Yet here you have tens of thousands of victims of crookedness packed into the eponymous stadium exuberantly celebrating the birthday of their plunderer and enthusiastically singing the praises of their pillager. At a time when life has become, literally, unlivable for them, the poor sods of Akwa Ibom are glorifying a man who epitomizes the ruin and devastation that have befallen their country.

Occasions like Akpabio’s unconscionable birthday bash and the unabashed way the suffering masses of Akwa Ibom participated in the hideous event are a reminder that something is seriously wrong with my fellow Nigerians. Once again, the people showed how screwed up they are. 

More than ever before, I’m convinced that there’s a loose screw lodged deep within the frontal lobe – i.e., the part of the brain responsible for reasoning – of Nigerians. There’s no other explanation for the embarrassing groveling, self-abasing servility, and shameless obsequiousness that we witnessed in Akwa Ibom on Saturday.

And this again reinforces my conviction that there’s no hope for Nigeria. Those who continue to hold on to the wishful optimism that it’s still possible for the country to take a turn for the better are living in Lala-land.

All my good friends who are looking forward to the day when Nigeria will become livable are daydreaming, you all need to wake up and smell the stench of the rotten carnage.

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