FOOTBALL NEVER CAME HOME

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Football was close to home today; so close that the entire English kingdom could taste it. But just as it was about to come through the entryway, it slammed on the brakes, turned swiftly around, and head back out to some place else.

Once again, many an English heart has been left broken into a million little pieces. The earnest expectation for a come back home is shattered and it's never going to happen this year. The "Football is Home" drunken orgies planned to hold at all the pubs in town will have to be put on ice until yet another time.

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