A WALKING TIN MAN I AM NOT
I knew it. I always knew it. That man Bill Gates is up to no good. The cabal of world rulers he commands like a puppet master have got something sinister up their sleeves.
Ever since I took the COVID-19 vaccine, metallic objects have been sticking to my body. The day I got the Incubus and Succubus vaccine shot I became a human magneton. The magnetic force is so strong that it could pull a 36-wheeler truck. I'm like the tin man of the Wizard of Oz.
The conspiracy theorists must be on to something here and the lunatic fringe, while they may look and sound crazy, ain't so fringy after all. Now that my car keys are stuck on my forehead, I'm beginning to see from their point of view.
That is if you didn't know there's a tape between the keys and my skin. And that's how incredibly clownish the whole thing sounds. You better get the shot, it's the only chance you've got to save your skin.